Group Rules

Patchwork facilitators adhere closely to the following group rules and guidlines in all Patchwork peer support groups. These rules and guidelines exist to support and protect all the members of Patchwork support groups. They allow us to host groups in a safe manner and in an environment free of abusive, aggressive, or discriminatory speech or behavior. Our goal is always to ensure that each person feels safe and valid, and that they have space to listen and share in a manner that affirms and supports their identity.

Safe Space

Patchwork strives to create a safe space in its groups for all members. We enforce a zero tolerance policy for any type of aggressive, abusive, or discriminatory speech or behavior. This includes:

• Inflammatory or violent comments;

• Judgement statements about a group or individual;

• Expressing generalizations or stereotypes;

• Comments that are racist, sexist, ableist, ageist, or discriminatory of religions, ethnicities, immmigration status, etc.; or

• Gestures or posturing intended to convey intimidation, threat, or bias.

Members are asked to please also be aware of microaggressions, as these can be very triggering. Microaggressions include statements which convery thoughts or emotions that stigmatize a marginalised group. Examples would include:

• Micro-invalidation, or referring to individuals as falling inside or outside a particular stereotype;

• Micro-assault, or passive aggression such as refusing to acknowledge or interact with an individual based on their identity; or

• Micro-insult, or comments that demean or marginalize an identity or group.

If such any of the above does occur, the member will first be counseled by facilitators. If the behavior or comments continue, the member will be asked to leave the group until such time as they can interact with members in a meaningful and safe way.

For the safety and security of all members and groups, Patchwork requires that cameras remain on during meetings, without digital backgrounds, overlays, filters, or blurring. Anyone refusing to turn their camera on or using any technology to obscure their face or what is around and behind them during a group call will be removed.

If at any time during a group meeting, a member feels triggered, upset, or uncomfortable with a discussion or something which has been shared or stated, with language that has been used, or with implied or alluded to ideas or situations, they are strongly encouraged to bring their concerns to the facilitator or facilitators of the meeting at the time. Facilitators are empowered within meetings to change or redirect the topic of conversation or use other such means to ameliorate the situation in a manner that maintains the safe space and allows all to feel valid and respected.

Privacy

Patchwork support groups use the "Vegas rule." What is said in group, stays in group. Sharing details of group member names, identities, images, or likenesses is not allowed. Discussion of group topics or specific shares or comments outside of the group meeting space is likewise not permitted. Within the meeting space, members are to refrain from discussing other members of the group not in attendance, or anything a member has shared previously.

Members of groups are requred to ensure they are in a private place where othes may not see their screen, hear conversations, read chat if enabled, or otherwise allow the group to be observed or overheard by anyone not in the group meeting. Members are strongly encouraged not to attend meetings in public places such as cafes or parks if they can not ensure the privacy of the group.

All recording, screenshots, transcripts, or any other form of copying or archiving any part of support groups or their participants is strictly forbidden. Anyone found to be keeping or saving any part or portion of any group session or thoughts, shares, images, or names of group members will be removed from all Patchwork programs permanently.

Facilitators may, at their discretion, break the confidentiality of the group space if the facilitator reasonably believes that a member is in imminent danger of harming themselves or others. This would include:

• Expressing thoughts of self-harm or suicidal intent;

• Suspected abuse or neglect of a minor, elder, domestic partner, or disabled person; or

• Expressed intent to commit violent or illegal acts.

Patchwork  collects only anonymous information from groups, including number of attendees per session and general topics of discussion, so that Patchwork may improve its service to the TNBGNCI community. No names, email or IP adresses, or likenesses are recorded except in the instances of those individuals permanently removed from groups for cause. Email addresses used for correspondence with Patchwork, such as to join groups, are held private and never sold or made public, and are not viewable by facilitators.

Etiquette

To maintain the fair and inclusive envorinment of Patchwork peer support groups, all members attending groups agree to the the following conduct to ensure that every member is respected.

1. In order to maintain an open and comfortable environment, members are asked to please only speak from their own lived experience. This means only sharing what one has lived through, not what one has been told or has seen through third parties, such as in media. Facilitators and members do not give advice or otherwise instruct on how another should feel, speak, or act.

2. Members are asked to refrain from crosstalk. This is defined as a comment or share that directly relates to the comment or share of another member. Examples of crosstalk would be asking questions directly of another member, refuting another member's share or opinion, or explaining or parsing another member's comments. Further, members should only speak from the "I" and use language that relates to themselves, rather than "you" or referring to other members by name. Exceptions to this include asking a member for clarification or further information on what they have shared, or other similar instances at the facilitator's discretion.

3. Members are asked to listen to each comment or share without interrupting. In larger groups, facilitators may ask that all members raise hands in the online environment and be recognized to speak, to remain muted until recognized to speak, and in extraordinary cases of very large groups or very emotionally charged topics where many members wish to share, facilitators may time limit shares to ensure everyone has a chance to speak.

4. Members are asked  to respect the views, opinions, and lived experiences of other members and to please be aware and sensitive to what privilege they hold, acknowledging that others who don't have such privilege may be triggered or offended by power dynamics.

5. Members should not engage in side conversations. Please show the facilitator or member speaking the respect of giving them your attention as you would want them to do for you. In groups where chat functions are enabled, this also includes having secondary discussions in the chat, even if they relate to the topic being discussed. Chat should only be used to offer reactions to what is being said, share links or resources, or to communicate with facilitators directly regarding concerns or requests for assistance.

6. Every member has the right to speak, and likewise, every member has the right to remain silent. Members have the right to ask questions, as well as the right to not answer questions asked of them. The exception to this is if a facilitator feels they need more information from a member to ensure the safety of the member, the space, and the group (i.e. are you in danger, are you in a private space, etc.)

7. Members are asked to be prompt for groups. Entering a meeting late can be very disruptive to the group and can have a negative impact on discussions, while also showing a lack of respect for other members. All groups are closed to new attendees fifteen minutes after the meeting begins, or until introductions are completed and discusision begins, which ever comes first.

Check Your Privilege! 

If a member is counseled by a faclitator relating to a breech of any of these rules or guidlelines, they are encouraged in the strongest manner to pause and consider the situation as stated by the facilitator. Members are asked to take a deep breath and ask themselves qustions such as:

• Am I upset because I was called out on my privilege, or a privilege I didn't realise I had?

• Did my words or actions convey threat or menace, impart a bias, or capitalize on a sterotype?

• Did my words or actions disrupt the group or the discussion?

• Was I acting or speaking in a way that could have been perceived as threatening, menacing, or invoking thoughts or fears of violence?

• Is there a social power dynamic that I reinforced or took advantage of in the discussion?

• Did I marginalize or erase another member by speaking over them, giving advice, dismissing their feelings, or failing to hold space for them?

• Is it possible that another member holds trauma, has a disability, or experiences difficulty I was not aware of, that was triggered by what I said?

Arguing with a facilitator will only serve to make the space feel less safe for everyone, while counseled members taking time to observe the situation and their role in it may find that they have agency in bettering the situation and can continue in the group in a healthy and safe way.